Meeting of the minds is so important
Have you ever done something one way for so long that it’s hard to create change? You get in a routine or create a habit and this becomes the norm. Have you noticed how it is so much harder to make a change after an expectation or precedent is set? Relationships are usually great in the beginning – they are fun, exciting and full of new experiences and adventures. Often couples will start to notice problems but they avoid discussing the issues for fear of creating conflict they think may result in bigger problems. The problem with this type of avoidance is that the issue is still there and will start to manifest into unhealthy behaviors in your relationship. People engage in avoidance to avoid conflict, but in the end avoidance can actually create more intense conflict. People become critical, defensive and experience tension, hurt feelings and bruised egos.
In you’ve ever been in this situation, you probably realize in retrospect, it would have been much more productive to discuss expectations about how to handle issues in your relationship on the front end. It’s much easier to plan for harmony than to repair hurt.
Despite the importance of preparing your relationship for success in hard times, most couples don’t talk about hot topic issues until they come up and they are already emotional. That’s like waiting for a disaster and then making a survival plan – there’s definitely a better way. Premarital education and counseling courses can help couples identify some of those potential issues and plan for how to handle them when they arise.
Poor communication, one is upset while the other is bewildered
A premarital education course can:
- Improve your chances for a happy, healthy and successful marriage
- Teach you to communicate more effectively
- Help you feel more deeply connected to your partner
- Establish your expectations about your life together
In the past couples would go to their Pastor or Priest for premarital counseling and if they weren’t religious, then they really didn’t have anywhere to go for support or education. There were some professionals that offered counseling but for most, that carried the belief that something was wrong and needed to be fixed. What engaged couples really need to learn is how to be a partner while still maintaining their own healthy identity and interests. Today you can find some of the best premarital education and counseling courses online! Those premarital courses focus on communication and give you tools and skills for establishing expectations and navigating conflict.
There are several providers who offer online premarital courses but the biggest obstacle our couples have found is prioritizing their premarital education. Young couples are often busy starting their careers, managing their social life and family’s expectations. They are probably busy planning their dream wedding and making plans for their new life, all of which can be extremely overwhelming. Many will think, things are great right now, why do we need counseling? Don’t find yourself stuck with issues you’ve avoided or brushed under the rug. Remember it’s so much easier to have open and honest discussion before these issues fester and blow up.
Fortunately, we live in a wonderful time of great technology. At Class Act, we have done a lot of research relative to online premarital education courses. This online approach is brilliant and gives couples more opportunity to be successful in not only completing premarital counseling but ultimately to be successful in their marriage. Couples can benefit from taking the course together or you can even take it while being apart in two different locations. You can also do it together on a Sunday night in while you cuddle. You can take the course at your own speed from wherever you like.
These courses foster closeness and connection. Most people are fearful that talking about sensitive topics may cause conflict, but for most it allows them to grow closer by discussing their feelings about these topics up front, before they become issues. The course walks you through different topics and even has videos of different scenarios to help you learn. In fact, even people that are already married can benefit from these types of courses. The courses teach you how to avoid and improve stressful areas in your relationships – it’s likely we could all benefit from that! Another bonus? It is a whole lot less expensive than going to marriage counseling. While the online courses are not designed to replace couples counseling if you are in crisis, they are great at helping couples improve communication skills and feel more connected.
Don’t wait until it is too late
The best time to do the course is as soon as you can. Research shows that over 50% of marriages end in divorce! This is a result of “growing apart” or not being on the same page from the beginning and having opposing expectations. The good news is you can work together now to avoid damaging your relationship in the future.
In Minnesota you actually get a significant discount on your marriage license when you have a certificate of completion for an approved online premarital education course.
With today’s technology Premarital Courses can be:
- Easier to access – from the comfort of your home
- More meaningful since you can participate at a time when both of you can be engaged
- Helpful in identifying a plan that fits for both of you at your own pace
- Save you money on your wedding license in Minnesota
HANDLING OF MONEY SHOULD ALWAYS BE DISCUSSED
In short, the answer is YES premarital courses are absolutely worth it.